Danielle Ola, Mentorship Fellow: "Over the past few days, I've found memories of Kimarlee in the most mundane places. In my morning coffee. In the ache of my shoulders. In a blinking cursor on a blank page. No matter how I try, they come to me in piecemeal. But I remember this: how Kimarlee would lift her chin whenever she spoke about her students, proud and reaching. How, within minutes of talking to her, it felt like I was missing home on the shoulder of an old friend. How she was always the first to remind us how precious we were to one another; how precious we were to her.
Kimarlee knew how special it was that we'd come to the Mentorship Lab and built a little family, one that knew how to hold each other in one moment and push forward in the next. In so many words, from the first reading to the last, she reminded us of this. We are so lucky we are to have one another. Be grateful.
You are so loved, Kimarlee. We're grateful for you."
Sulagna Sarkar, Student: "She wasn’t just a teacher, she wasn’t just another staff member. She was a role model, an influence, and a source of hope. Many of us students resorted to Ms. Nguyen to just talk. I remember once walking in when visiting her and although my friends and I would visit many of the teachers. My best friend had just been greeted with hugs joy laughter by Ms. Nguyen. She began to ask everything from how was the family, to how school was, to how he’s coping with anxiety, and not only did she do the same for me but she continued to ask us both such specific things to our life. It showed not only did she listen when we would go to her but she cared. So no, she wasn’t just a teacher. She was everything for a person that was struggling in our school. She was understanding and loving. She loved us all like her own children and she was loved, even if she didn’t know it, by ten times as many people because that’s just who she was. We will always love you Ms. Nguyen. Rest In Peace to a beautiful person both in and out."
Subarno, TBLS Class of 2004: "Ms. Nguyen was not only a teacher, she was a friend. At times I would feel so tired of the school environment and lose all motivation to work, but she kept me in check and made sure I not only was working but also having fun in the class. She was always so kind and made sure no one was ever upset or sad. We lost a teacher, a friend, a great person. The world will greatly miss your presence Ms. Nguyen. RIP."
Divya Nair, Mentorship Fellow: "Dear Kimarlee,
I wish the tears would flow from my eyes.
Those are the tears that offer some catharsis, a fleeting lightness. But these are the tears that gush from the center of the spine, filling the ribcage to bursting -- a symptom of a particular grief
It is a rapacious grief, gulping up all the many orbiting, dormant, and subconscious sorrows of the heart, magnifying them in the context of this new reality.
This new reality no longer contains the corporeal you. Naps in parks on crisp fall days, hands clasped with an old friend but new love at a concert, a particular passion for lengthy train scenes in stories, sparkling eyes as you share warm and insightful wisdoms, a beautiful denim jumpsuit with hoop earrings, an eager anticipation of Cambodian Thanksgiving with family -- the kind of Thanksgiving that involves karaoke of course. These are the precious bits I remember of that you that is no longer here.
Nevertheless the celestial you persists in your stories -- potent, electric, important. They were stories that left those fortunate enough to behold them stripped naked, vulnerable, breathless.
And that's the crux of it all -- the power you wielded with your spirit and with your pen. This is what you leave for us -- fused tight upon itself into a North Star burning hot and wild in the liminal space separating our worlds.
No star can take your place but it will guide us as we wait to share your world again.
Love,
Divya"
Paul Aster Stone-Tsao, Mentorship Fellow: "I remember when I first met you in DC at the Asian American Lit Fest. Exuberant. That's the word that first comes to mind.
I remember thinking to myself wow– what a beautiful person with such radiant energy. I was so excited that you were a fellow Kundiman fellow and that we'd get to spend time together the next couple months. I remember wanting to be pals with you almost immediately and was jabbering on about some nonsense because I wanted to talk to you more and was curious about who you were and how your trip to DC was as you were joining us from another writers' residency you had just wrapped with.
You were so gracious and kind and I will never forget the space you held for all of us and the way you held yourself– such power, grace, strength, and a tenderness so fierce it strikes me today in its lingering resonance, thrumming and gold– molten. It is warming my heart now, to hear the sonorous sweetness of your voice– the fearlessness with which you spoke your truth, how even the smallest blade of grass would sway to how it is your words would reach into the recesses of what most of us would turn away from but you faced it, and spoke. I heard you. We heard you. And are listening still. Truly, unforgettable.
It is and has been an honor to have been blessed enough to have witnessed you in your presence– to have gotten to share time and space and energy with you. Your being touched me entirely and you made a difference by simply being in the goddamn world, shining and dazzling absolutely everyone with your smile and the love you had for all of us lucky enough to have known you even if for a little while. I remember it to this day– how your smile, your laughter, your wit could light up an entire room even on the most tough days of working through hard and difficult matters of memory, trauma, emotional windstorms during our Kundiman workshops. You were a beacon of such hope and wisdom– and it continues to radiate even today as I write this.
My time shared with you is a gift I will cherish quite simply forever– in and through all the iterations of it– with and alongside the memory of you and how this memory perseveres on– giving to all of us, light.
You said that 'perhaps the most important thing this mentorship has given to me is the belief that things can be different'– and indeed, with you and the way you dared to touch the world back– they can.
My love to you Kimarlee, and to your family, loved ones, friends, colleagues, students, mentors– quite simply, all the people you touched in this living. I will miss you dearly. Thank you, for you."
